Friday, October 29, 2010

Learn how to expect after a loss, 5 stages of grief

Grief: intense sorrow, especially caused by someone's death.



Kesedihan merupakan perasaan atau emosi yang rumit dan susah difahami. Namun, kita semua akan mengalaminya nanti tidak hari ini, mungkin esok, tak esok, mungkin lusa, tulat dsb. Jadi, kehilangan tu adalah lumrah alam, hukum alam, dan ketentuan illahi yang telah termaktub sejak azali lagi

There are 5 stages of grief that mesti weolls alami secara berperingkat-peringkat. setiap peringkat adalah sangat penting sebab meninggalkan salah satunya menjadikan proses "grief" tidak lengkap. Tidak semua orang melalui tahap-tahap pada masa yang sama. Berbeza dengan orangnya. Ekceli, kita tidak boleh memaksa seseorang melalui peringkat, mereka kena pergi secara rela hati.SEMUA lima peringkat harus dilalui untuk penyembuhan berlaku.

The five stages of grief are:

1-Denial-"this can't be happening to me", looking for the former spouse in familia places, or if it is death, setting the table for the person or acting as if they are still in living there. No crying. Not accepting or even acknowledging the loss.


2-Anger-"why me?", feelings of wanting to fight back ,anger at the deceased, blaming them for leaving.


3-Bargaining-bargaining often takes place before the loss, attempting to make deals with God to stop or change the loss. Begging, wishing, praying for them to come back.


4-Depression-overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, frustration, bitterness, self pity, mourning loss of person as well as the hopes, dreams and plans for the future. Feeling lack of control, feeling numb. Perhaps feeling suicidal.


5-Acceptance-there is a difference between resignation and acceptance. You have to accept the loss, not just try to bear it quietly. Realization that the person is gone (in death) that it is not their fault, they didn't leave you on purpose. (even in cases of suicide, often the deceased person, was not in their right frame of mind) Finding the good that can come out of the pain of loss, finding comfort and healing. Our goals turn toward personal growth. Stay with fond memories of person.


Get help. You will survive. You will heal, even if you cannot believe that now, just know that it is true. To feel pain after loss is normal. It proves that we are alive, human. But we can't stop living. We have to become stronger, while not shutting off our feelings for the hope of one day being healed and finding love and/or happiness again. Helping others through something we have experienced is a wonderful way to fascilitate our healing and bring good out of something tragic.

Ingat, Allah, tak pilih kita untuk merasa kehilangan dan turunkan dugaan besar sekiranya kita tak boleh melaluinya. Thats mean, kita cukup kuat untuk menerima dugaan-NYA, Berbanggalah kerana tuhan pilih kita untuk menempuhi ujiannya. mungkin dengan itu, ia dapat mendekatkan diri pada-NYA.Dan bersukahatilah kerana itu, sebab itu petandanya Allah masih sayang kepada hamba-NYA. Semua terjadi ada hikmahnya, merasa kehilangan, ada hikmahnya sendiri. ia menjadikan kita insan yang lebih kuat dan matang menempuhu hari-hari berikutnya. Hidup harus tetap diteruskan.

-special dedication for my beloved friend, alina & family-



2 comments:

alina said...

thanx apiz...aku cube tuk trima sume nih..cume ia terlalu mengejut buat ak n family..tp xpe...tuhan nk duga stakat mane kesabaran hamba2 nya..aku redha..

phizz88 said...

bagus. kau harus tabah. ceh. cam lagu plak.

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